40-Day Fasting Prayer and the Threshold of Death

I pursued theological studies after receiving a clear calling from God. After I was ordained as a pastor, the church encountered some difficulties. As I prayed for a solution, I felt a conviction that these problems would be resolved if I were to die. I confessed to God that I was willing to die for Him. At that moment, I recalled a thought I had years earlier about whether I could ever do a 40-day fast, and this memory came back to me vividly. I then felt as if God was commanding me to begin a 40-day fast immediately. I resisted, thinking that doing so might lead to my physical death. I realized that my faith was not sincere; it was double-minded. My conscience rebuked me, telling me that continuing ministry without obeying this command would be hypocritical. So, that day, I began the 40-day fast.

On the 30th day, I felt excruciating pain, as if my body was tearing apart, and I thought, “My body is dying.” Yet God enabled me to complete the full 40 days. When the fast ended at midnight, I drank a small amount of light radish water that my wife had prepared, but soon after, I lost consciousness. My wife later told me that she feared I might die. I regained consciousness early in the morning, and as I took a bath, I noticed that, except for my face and hands, my entire body was covered in bruises from dead blood. I looked like a corpse.

By God’s grace and with my wife’s careful 40-day post-fast recovery meals, my body was restored. Through this fasting prayer, I realized a profound truth: my remaining life is now a body that was once dead but brought back to life by God, meant to bear witness to the resurrection of the Lord through my daily living.